Every Sonic Fanfic Evar!
by legendarytoast7
Summary: This is a parody to all the bad Sonic fanfics that exist, only bad on purpose. This story is about a couple (Sonic and Amy) who become broken apart buy a lack of being sexy. Sonic becomes depressed and wants suicide for some reason. If you don't like this kind of humor then simply don't read. XD
1. Ch 1: Tawagato

**Before you continue reading you must first understand that this entire thing is simply a joke. If you don't like this kind of humor then instead of complaining, stop reading right now. Thank you.**

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**AN: Dis is de best fanfiction evar. It t****ake me a hole day to make dis mastarpiece. You should luv it or I well kill meself. Don be mean cause u is a bitch f you ar! Ples subscrible too me beauty and tell evarone that it is goob and touching. Again, f u don, I well kill meself bad. Luv me ples!**

**Sonic was runnin fast cuz he was bored and shit. He was goin super fast like a Ferrari, only he was faster.**

**Outta nowhere, Amy popped up, cuz she does that sometimes. _Wait Sonic_, her said. She likes Sonic cuz Sonic is kinda hot I guess. ****_No Amy I gotta go fast cuz I can!_**

**_K, Sonic I is pregnant!_****She said sadness.**

**_Oh Shat Amy, we gonna be some sexy parents! Lol_**

_K._

**_K._**

**_Sonic I doesn't cannot luv you no more! Go away._**

**Sonic waz sad. ****_Why Amy?_**

**_Cuz you won't luv me no more._**

**_K._**

**_You no more sexy time: be more sexy and mebe I well luv you again._**

**_K_****, Sonic sad before runnin away crying. He waz pretty sad right now. He wish he was more smexy. ****_I am very sad right new. I want to dye!_**** He sad calmly. Sanic grab gun as black as night and put too his head. ****_Gooby world!_**

**_No Sanic, I luvs you I gus!_****Whispered a soft and unfamiliar voice. Waz Tawagato (which mein Shit in Japan cuz I so Fuking smert), Shadow's long lost brother. He de most powerful of all dem. He es better dan Shadow an can use chaos control by snapping cuz dat be kool. ****_We gonna be sexy cuz de plot neds et_**

**_AN: You better wuv Tawagato cuz he my bestest creation! I drew soo many cool pictares of him! He is better dan you. F you don like him din you should dye! Don be a bad person!_**

**_No tawagato, I wuv Amy!_**

**_Amy a bitch._**

**_She preg-preg. No want me bod no more!_**

**_No, I wan yo bod!_**

**_K,_****Sonic sad submersavly. He touch Tawagato's hairy chest an dat make Tawagato pregnant cuz dat's how et work! ****_I make evarones preg-preg! It should dye!_**

**_K_, Tawagato laughed cuz funny. **

* * *

**Tails: What the hell was that?**

**Sonic: Sticks must've drugged Toast again.**

**Tails: That's probably accurate… is this cannon?**

**Sonic: Hell no! I'd never go to third base with Amy!**

**Amy: *cries***

**Tails: Well thank God! **

**Obama: *Smiles at screen* If y'all want an actually competent story then head on over to Toast's main fanfic, The Everyday Lives of Sonic and Tails! It's fresh!**

**Tails: And has been on a fucking hiatus for too damn long!**

**Sonic: That's no good!**


	2. Ch 2: Amy de Bitch

**AR**: **Wewcome back too me bestest creation! Dis story gonna be great! **

**Sonic an Amy at Starebooks cuz de haz coffee. Silver works dare cuz he a poor little imbasshole. **_**He Amy and Sonic, I gots your coffees ready.**_

**_OMG Silver, tank you soak much._**

**Sonic need to say soomtin **_**Yeah**_**_ tanks._**

**_i fuking hate me glob._**

**Sonic turned to Amy cuz he wan to talk. **_**Amy, I meat someone yesterday.**_

**_Holy shat Sonic, who?_**

**Sonic smiled, **_**I can't tall you.**_

**_:( Why Sonic._**

**_Cuz you a bitch._**

_**OMG Sonic, I wan to kill you.**_

**_K._**

**_Who?_**

**Fine, F you b so pussy, dan I well tall you.**

**Dan tall me.**

**Fine, I mets Tawagato. He es dead. No. Holy Shat! Dis es inconceivable, she screamed. He es Vary pregnant. OMG you muther fuking slut. Amy ran way cryin cuz she sad at Sonic. She hat Tawagato, cuz he two sexy. She hat Sonic cuz he sometimes no sexy.**

**AN: Ok, I new you be worried bout dem right new, but day be fine, cuz Sonic can mak evarone happy I gus.**

**Sonic sad cuz he es a slut. _Oh no. I es bad. I should not be alive. I should kill myself bad!_ Silver saw Sonic pull out gun dat black as night an put two head. _No Sonic, don get blood on de floor! I haz too oxi-klean et up dan._**

**_Silver pls :(_**** Sonic sad happily.**

**_No cuz bad!_**

**_K._**** Meanwhile en other places… Eggman bein bad by stealing Chilled Dogs from Wal-Mert. _I es unstoppable! I well rude de word._**

**_Newt f I can help et._**

**_New! Newt Towagato! He es too badass four me two handle!_**

**Towagato kick Eggman and Eggman fall to ground. _I well be back!_**

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Amy: How long is Toast gonna keep doing this?

Tails: I dunno… as long as Sticks has drugs to give him.

Amy: Well shit…

Tails: Ikr, this is annoying as all hell. How is this even being positively received?

Amy: It is?!

Tails: Yeah, look at the reviews.

Amy: So all someone has to do to get positive reviews is to write a shitty story?

Tails: Yep.

Amy: I don't wanna live on this planet anymore.


	3. Ch 3: Tails de imbasshole

**Amy waz in hair rum cryin' cuz she kinda sad about Sonic. She felt unessay about Tawagato cuz he a badass.**

**_Cream, I doesn't nose aboat Tawagato. He es bad._**

**_Bat Amy Tawagato es smexy, he canut bay bad._**

**_Bat es two smexy._**

**_K._**

**_We gots too kell Tawagato cuz bad._**

**_K,_**** Cream sad bayfore she gat a shoot-gun. _I gonna shot him up bad._**

**_K,_**** Sad Amy.**

**Meinwell… Sonic and Tails our at de Starebooks cuz wee nut?**

**_Tails wan coffi?_**** Ask Silver**

**_Why the hell do you all keep speaking in broken English?!_**** Tails askeded. _It's annoying as hell._**

**_Cuz fuk u!_**** Says Silver.**

**AN: Dig ya new dat says es spalled S-A-Y-S? Kool hum? I learn et frum Sonec S-A-Y-S.**

**_Oh, I see… Toast wrote me into his stupid crack fanfic didn't he?_**** Tails safe-awerly sad. _ Dammit! I fucking hate you Toast!_**

**Tawagato wak true de dares and look smexy. He wink et Sonic. _Hey Sonic, how et gooing?_**

**Sonic run too hum. _Oh Tawagato! U es smexy!_**

**_I new_**** Tawagato sad seeductevly. _Kess me._**

**_I well, Sonic _****sad bayfoore kissing Tawagato's hary bod.**

**_Can I please leave before this turns into a lemon?_**** Tails axe me, bat I says new.**

**Silver taught dis waz smexy. _Can I goin?_**

**Amy brook true de windew. _Wii gonna kell Tawagato or else will well kell oursefs!_ Cream followed hair width guns.**

**Well Tawagato dye? Well Amy an Cream dye? I dosen't new I gus!**

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**Tails:Why did he throw me into this God-awful story?!**

**Knuckles: I thought that the story was pretty good… er goob an touching.**

**Tails: Shut up dumbass!**

**Knuckles: Well someone woke up on the wrong side of bed.**

**Tails: What the hell did you do to my coffee?**


	4. Ch 4: Hes Warld Silver' ass!

**Wear we last seed Sonic and frands, Amy waz about two killed Tawagato width Cream an gun. Also Tails waz bean a bean a bitch.**

_**New Amy, don herm hem! He's two bitiful! **_**Sonic sad.**

**_Witches y hay messt dye! _Cream sad width angry.**

**Sonic look dawn ats hes feets. _I say new what I messt do! Silver you imasshole gib may a getair!_**

**_K_ Silver sad as he pull a big getair out off hes ass. He hand two Sonic!**

**_I has too plate a mootha fuking song! _Sonic yells. **

**_Please no… _Tails beg four cuz he a bitch.**

**_Two bag! _Sonic plays song width strongs of sond. **

**C'mon light the fuse, he's a rocket and he's ready to go  
'Cause now the coutdown has started and he's ready to blow  
He's got the dope sounds pumpin in his stereo (-ego!)  
Kickin' ass fast... Puttin' on a show!  
C'mon and get yourself together, there's no time to rest  
And if you put the time in he'll put you to the test  
He's like a runnin' man, in his world, more is less  
And if you wanna test him best bring your best  
Don't make me spell it out, bring your best!**

In this world (His world!) Where life is strong  
In this world (His world!) Life's an open book  
In this world (His world!) Where compromise does not exist  
In his world of worlds, every step meets the rest!  
In this world (His world!) Where one is all  
In this world (His world!) Never fear the fall  
In this world (His world!) Where compromise does not exist  
In his world of worlds, every step meets the rest!

Runnin' and back again, well what'dja expect?  
Comin' out to win ten out of ten, got a real rough neck  
Strikes something slippery, straps on his shoes  
'Cause he's the best there ever was, haven't you heard the news?  
Intergalactic continental champ, running things  
Hyperactive instrumental and pulling strings  
He's just the one who understands where the tides will swing  
So he's breaking down doors, never following!  
C'mon and psyche yourself up, 'cause it's time to play  
Bounce to the beats and the rhymes 'cause they're here to stay  
The one and only marathon-man livin' today  
Movin' up, comin' fast, and he'll blow you away  
Because the pressures of this world, they can take their toll  
And it's tough to get away when they take ahold  
The only way to break free is to break the mold  
You can't stop now, lock and load  
I said you can't stop now, c'mon, rock and roll!

In this world (His world!) (Gotta make your own way!) Where life is strong  
In this world (His world!) (Life is just a game you play!) Life's an open book  
In this world (His world!) (Notice that we're here to stay!) Where compromise does not exist  
In his world of worlds, every step meets the risk!  
In this world (His world!) (Gotta make your own way!) Where one is all  
In this world (His world!) (Life is just a game you play!) Never fear the fall  
In this world (His world!) (Notice that we're here to stay!) Where compromise does not exist  
In his world of worlds, every step meets the rest!

Light the fuse on his rocket and he's ready to go  
'Cause now the coutdown has started and he's ready to blow (to blow... To blow...)  
(In his world... ! Where one is all!)  
Intergalactic continental champ, running things  
Hyperactive instrumental with pulling strings  
(In his world... ! Never fear the fall!)

(In his world... !) The only way to break free is to break the mold  
You can't stop now, lock and load  
(His world... !) I said you can't stop now, lock and load  
(His world... !) Don't stop now, c'mon and rock and roll!

**Song endf**

**_Omg Sonic dat waz so cut. ;3 ;3 ;3 ;3 ;3 ;3 ;3 ;;3! _****Amy sad**

**_Tank u bitch!_**

**_3 I tinkle dat I luvs you agains! 3 _**

**_Kewwool, bat I still ganna slep width Tawagato sometimes! _**

**_K ;3_**

**_K _**

**_What the hell Sonic! You're a perverted asshole!_**** Tails sad stoopadly**

**evarone laught at Tails cuz stoopad. Evarone happy new I gus!**

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Shrek: Hello little ones!

Tails: ... *backs away slowly*

Shrek: Why so scared little foxy? I can help comfort ye, Donkey, I can help comfort ye REAL GOOD!

Tails: Hell no! Get the fuck away!

Shrek: Oh, I see... Someone's just playing Mr. Hard-To-Get! 3 Ho ho ho! *smiles and grabs the fox's shoulder*

Tails: HELP! RAPE!

Sonic: *runs onto screen* Whoa Shrek, that's no good! Control yourself dude!

Shrek Fine! If I can't be respected in this fanfic, then I'll go force Toast to make me and Shadow our own PERSONAL one! *Tosses Tails to the side*

Tails: *lands* Oww! Oh shit, why is it always my forehead?!

Shrek: It'll be _Shradow Forever after! _(under production!) *runs off* Oh, Toasty... where are you? 3

Sonic: What the...

Tails: Fuck?

Sonic: yeah, that.

Shadow: That DAMN ogre isn't kidding guys. The worst part is... it'll be cannon...

Sonic: Shit...


	5. Ch 5: Eggman gon kell

**Arthur's Note: New dat wii hav introed de mein charars, wii mus move on width de ploot of dis mastarpeace. I mus introduck too new charars: Eggman and Steven ASAP! Steven es vary kewl an es me bastast OC, sept Tawagato hoo es to fukin smexy. Enjoy dis awesum shats!**

**Sonic runnun fast again an waz en gren-hall zoon. **

_**Yea! Me gooin fast!**_

**He run app a loop-de-lap.**

_**Oh yea!**_

**Sonic den stop and look app.**

**_I soo fukin' fast!_ He den see soomtin.**

**Et waz Eggman!**

**Eggman es vary bad.**

_**Oh shat es Eggman! Eggman es vary bad!**_

**Eggman turn two Sonic an laught.**

_**Oh Sonic, I've, ben, wating four, u.**_

_**Shat u gon b bad!**_

_**K**_

**Eggman replayed en a rooring vace as lood as drum. (drum es vary loud!) **

**_I gon kell yar fryends!_ He floo anway!**

_**Oh Snapple, me fryends gon dye.**_

**Amy an Tawagato (who de bastast!) kessin en de bed cuz dis es a tree-way-shup cuz dat be nermal.**

**Day r booth vary preegnaunt an fat. Day kess vary smexy. **

**De kessing es soo kewl an shat dat et cant bay discribled asscuratlay in Engrash wards!**

**Tail de ideyot es at Starebooks cuz he an ideyot. **

**_Hey Silver,_ he sad stoopadly.**

**_Hay imbasshole,_ Silver sad intellegerntly.**

_**Can I have a extra-large coffee?**_

_**New u cant, beeatch!**_

_**Why are you such an asshole in this?**_

_**Cuz fuk U!**_

**_I fucking hate my life. _Tails sad.**

Silver: Wow, that depiction of me is a jerk.

Tawagato: Really? I think he's… muy caleinte.

Silver: Oh my God! Why the fuck is there a cannon version of him?!

Tawagato: Cuz, the fans can't get enough of my sexy bod. *Shakes rear at the screen*

Silver: What the hell?! You are such a bitch!

Shadow: If he comes into the main series I'll end you all!

Tawagato: But brother, are you sure that you don't want my hot bod all over the fanfic?

Shadow: Only if it's dead and Mutalated!

Silver: FYI, you aren't even hot… You are WAY too hairy and disgusting, kinda like Rouge the Bat. That's not to mention the overkill on your make-up… Also Shadow, that's really gross.

Shadow: Fuck you too!

**#Tawagato4ShradowForeverAfter!**


	6. Ch 6: Butseks

HAY GUYS! IM SO GOOB DAT I HAS TO MAKE A SEKUAL TWO EVERY SONIC FANFIC EVAR!

TINGS GET SEXY

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Sonic an Amy an TAWAGATO (ME HERO) ware at et en de beds. Threesome styles! Tawagato an top an sonic en bottom. Tawagato waz supareioer.

Soup goob sayd Ame and Sonicw ho ware fellin soo goob. Day sayed dat bayfore they exlooded.

Tawagato waz newt satesfired and he needed more .

Y you soo stupood says Tawagato as he gor off bed.

Soodanlay Eggman break in true the waaaal. I com four ur pickles. He say as hooed up gun.

oh snaapoe he has gun sayd Charmy (who was hydin undar be d cuz arose when butseks.)

Butseks es vary goode

Eggman gat madd an shoot bee

beedie blood red as blood flow from body

Oh fack he killed Charmy gasduisdhuasdffhsdfhasgfa Skraeme Amey e

Sonic cry

Eggman get off to bee blood

Tawagato knoose Charmy since child. Tawagato love heem. Tawagato sheed singale tear from eye lyke raindrroop. Charme, I lo0ved heim. Why? Why him?

Eggman keep geetin off.

Tawagato get supar Tawagato an kick Eggman's neeked ass.

Evaryone hap-py... or whare day?

Some one es commin...


End file.
